Denise Winston has been called the Rolls Royce of matchmakers. Her boutique matchmaking business began over 25 years ago and has offices in Manhattan and Beverly Hills, as well as attracting “an elite circle of prominent Hamptons clients.” Winston has appeared on endless TV and radio shows including Good Day New York, CNBC, Bravo, and Miramax productions.  The only matchmaker ever recommended by The Sunday New York Times Wedding Vows section, an entire page was devoted to one of Winston’s happily “matched” couples!

“I am a matchmaker and a love coach who takes pride in doing my work. My role is to eliminate the risks and deceptions. All you need to meet the love of your life is to be willing & ready and I will help you get there,” Denise shares with KDH.

So whether you are looking for love- or in love and hoping to get hitched- Denise knows how to navigate your route for romance. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, we asked Winston to share her love notes with KDHamptons readers…

KDHamptons:  How do we open our hearts to find love?

Denise Winston: Look to the friends or family that have a loving, trusting, fun relationship. Fear can be fierce and keep you unloved. Ask the loving couples a lot of questions to help you allay those intangible worries. After over 25 years as a matchmaker and love coach I can promise you Browning had it right: “It is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.”

KDH:  Why is a Hamptons guy a better catch than a Manhattan man?
DW: Have you heard stress kills? A Hamptons guy is not pounding the pavement on Wall Street every day. His career most likely does not entail working 70 plus hours a week. A Hamptons guy may even be coming home for lunch and a “matinee”. The Hamptons man is surrounded by untouched majestic nature, not cold hard cement which has been documented to touch and change our hearts, our moods, and longevity. Our Hamptons man therefore has more time for you…

KDH:  Hamptons singles always tell me it’s hard to meet someone out East. Got a tip for lonely hearts?
DW: Today it is more challenging to meet someone anywhere! So Hamponites please do not feel “singled”out. Be as active in any passion you have, or of course try a new one. GOLF, GOLF, GOLF! You will never meet anyone staying home and lamenting. GET OUT THERE and start checking out on Saturday and Sunday mornings where the men are eating and reading the paper alone. Become friends with the owner/manager. Let them see what a wonderful “catch” you are….Have your lookout angels for you at several locations. Of course, I would be delighted to chat with anyone about men, marriage and life. I can help you meet the love of your life.

KDH: Got a tip for keeping romance alive for married couples?
DW: Okay here’s a few that will always work: You probably sent sexy texts before you were married, so why not now? Send alluring photos too [no nudity~ leave something to the imagination!]. Leave some lightly perfumed lingerie in his briefcase. Go out of your way to prepare [okay maybe you picked it up at Citarella] his favorite meal. I have very often found a restaurant is more than happy to share that special recipe with you. MOST IMPORTANTLY everyone wants to feel acknowledged and appreciated in a marriage. Express this to your partner often.

KDH:  Lots of Hamptons couples become homebodies in the winter season. How do we keep the boredom at bay?
DW: First you need to start with little, but significant, building blocks of intimacy.
Private jokes, silly messages. Your song. Secret codes. Pet names. And on those cold snowy nights [of course you are not wearing those old-I-don’t-care-how-I-look sweats, right?] light a crackling fire, relive the memories of your wedding on the DVD, and create a fancy place setting for the take-out you picked up earlier. Sip champagne, eat dinner in front of the fire, and the romance will flow…

KDH:  What is the biggest mistake you see single girls always making?
DW: They Lose Him At Hello! Trying to impress a date with your very busy and important schedule shows him you have no time for a relationship. A man wants to know you are available~ and not three weeks later!

KDH:  What is the best move to make after a great date? The girl should text a sweet “thank you” when she gets home? Or should she wait for him to call?
DW: If you have me as your matchmaker, I am in the man’s head and knows just what he is thinking! If not, then wait till the next day and either text a brief “thank you”or leave a message at his home during the day. [Many men over the years have told me how some women never say “thank you”ever. It’s important ladies!]

KDH:  What is the one most common adjective that a man tells you they want in a woman?  Same question for what a woman wants in a man?
DW: The men say “attractive” [do not forget beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder], then sense of humor is usually second. Women say sense of humor, followed by kind. Also, sense of humor means something totally different to men and women….

KDH: Happy Wife, Happy Life? Or The Husband Rules the Roost? What is your opinion?
DW: Because men are hard wired by their DNA to not be as compassionate and patient as women, we must [in the most caring, gentle, nurturing fashion] “rule the roost” ourselves!

KDH: How do women get their man to do what they want without sounding like a nag?
DW: If it’s hard to motivate your guy, turn romance into a game. Put him on a Point System. Together write your own rules, post them on the fridge, create score sheets, and keep statistics. Award your man points for various romantic or less exciting but necessary activities. When he racks up 100 points, he wins something that truly motivates him. Anything from sex to pizza, or from backrubs to doing his most hated chore. This last answer was paraphrased by the book “1001 More Ways To Be Romantic” by Gregory J.P.Godek. [pssst! I am on page 24 as the only matchmaker in New York the author recommends. He describes my service as professional, dignified, with discreet introductions].

Want to find your true love? Email Denise at iwlmatchu@hotmail.com or call her at 212.935.9350; or go to www.denisewinstonmatchmaker.com